I met a woman in the mid-seventies (who later became my girlfriend). During one of our first serious discussions, she (a liberal, pro-choice individual) started crying as she told me about an abortion she had a couple of years previously. I have always remembered that moment. Other than giving her comfort (and my assurances that I was “on her side”) I didn’t say (or even really think) anything about the implications of that emotion, even though I couldn’t really understand it. Now maybe I do.

I’m sick of reading articles talking about how the poor boys are falling behind in school, like I’m supposed to be ashamed that feminism has gone “too far.” I’m sick of people who act like I’m either just kidding (or don’t know what I’m talking about) or else I must be a horrible human being because I don’t want kids. And I am sick of the looks of shock I get when I calmly say that if I were to get pregnant right now, regardless of how, I’d be getting an abortion as soon as humanly possible.

Even though this statement only ever takes place in discussions with close friends, who know me well and are pro-choice, they still act like that’s a horrible thing to say. Should I be ashamed to admit I have no interest in having a child? Should I act guilty that I realise that being pregnant, even if I gave the kid up for adoption (assuming the pregnancy went okay all the way to the end), would screw up school and totally ruin my plan for my life? Should I feel selfish and wail about how I’m a horrible person because I don’t want to spend nine months in physical and emotional peril and pain?

Well, I don’t. And I am absolutely fed up of people assuming I must not mean what I say, or else I must be internally wracked with guilt, or some other such nonsense.