I’ve been disowned again. It happens every few years and I really hope it’s permanent this time. I am so tired of being called all manner of things and then chastised for doing nothing more than defending myself. I don’t really feel like writing right now but I think that if I don’t I might just finally lose it.
My aunt, as usual, is the ringleader. She got custody of my sister and I after our mother’s death and never let us forget it. She’s the kind of person that starts a fight and then pretends to be the victim when the real victim did nothing but defend themselves whiling trying to end whatever shitstorm she started. I think what galls me the most about this latest storm is that everyone in the family knows how she is having been victimized by her in the past, but still continue to side with her when someone else is the victim. Perhaps they’re just beaten down after all these years. It still sucks though.
The latest shitstorm is my because of my continued atheism. She’s known about my disbelief since I was a teenager and she just a regular hypocrite. And every time something major has happened she’s assumed, without speaking to me, that I’ve been “cured”. It’s always failed and with each confrontation she’s gotten worse and worse in her viciousness and her ignorance.
And now that I’m back home in Houston, it’s still not over. As with the last time she’s talking about doing something to remove my daughter from my custody simply because I’m an atheist. Nothing more, nothing less. I am an atheist so I should not be allowed around children, even my own. She’s also stirring up the rest of the relatives, pretending she had no idea I was an atheist and that I just dropped it on her lap for no other reason but to upset her “in her time of grief”.
And this time – I hate her. She knows damn well that the family will cease what little contact I have with them and will thus cut my daughter off from them. And one day when she’s older I’m going to have to explain it all to her. And exactly how do explain that kind of hate to a child? My rational mind knows that being seperated from such vileness is a good thing, but the irrational side’s yelping about “family” and how children deserve to know them.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen in the future, but for now I am through with the whole lot. One of her parting shots was that I did not exist. I hope she keeps her word.