I recently re-posted a satirical work about civil rights for homosexuals that resulted in at least one comment about what the Bible says about homosexuals. Now, technically I think that commenter got it wrong as the Bible says nothing about women having sexual relations with other women, but what I want to address here is the “well, the Bible says blah, blah, blah” argument that always makes an appearance when it comes to homosexuals.
This is a really asinine argument. Yes, the Bible does state that “man shall not lie with another man as with a woman, it is an abomination”. But, this isn’t the only subject the Bible addresses. The Bible ‘says’ a lot of things like forcing rape victims to marry their rapists, killing men who refuse to impregnate their brother’s widow, treating less-than-perfect people as inferiors and much more.
The Bible ‘says’ that Ham and his descendants are to be slaves to the world for all time (Ham is the ‘father’ of Africa according to lore). The Bible ‘says’ women are to shut the f’ up and sit the hell down. It goes on and on and on with it’s hate, its intolerance, its rage and its violence.
Who really wants to have the biblical standards come pay a visit to their house? Do you wear clothing that is made of “mixed” fabric like a cotton-nylon blend? Do you have a tattoo? Do you put up a tree during the solstice? If you’re a woman – are you silent? Do you have any authority over a man? If you’re a man – do you keep your face shaved? Do you keep your sideburns under control? Do you have long hair (below your collar) guys? Everyone – do you eat oysters? clams? shrimp? lobsters? If I peeked in your fridge would I see meat and dairy? Is there bacon in the fridge? Do you eat ham?
If you’ve been raped – did you put a fight to such a degree that people came running to see what the hell was going on? No? If you’re a man with a dead brother – did he leave children behind? No? Did you do you’re biblical duty? No? Well, congratulations you two – you’ve just been sentenced to death according to the Bible.
And the rest of you – if you answered yes to anything but keeping your mouth shut – congratulations – you’ve been smacked in the head by the bible. And that’s just a taste of what the Bible has in store for those of you who want to toss around “well, the Bible says…” I recall reading somewhere that the Bible contains several hundred laws of which more than a few require the execution or complete banishment of those who break them.
How bad is it? I could biblically justify killing anyone in my neighbourhood caught doing yardwork on any given Saturday. The justification? A bible story exists about a man caught picking up sticks for some reason on the sabbath (which is Saturday – not Sunday) – he was executed for not keeping the sabbath “holy”.
So, who here really wants to play “The Bible Says” game? Do you think you’ll live to tell the tale?
NOTE: Any posts regarding the morality of homosexuality for any reason be it religious, moral or scientific will be deleted on sight and the poster banned without a remote chance of being paroled. I will not be party to any attack upon homosexuals. If this gets your boxers in a knot – so fucking what. Cry me a river.
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Yet there are still Christians who proclaim that the Bible is the way to lead your life.
Unfortunately these Christians have this bizarre idea that infact the bible is all about perception – when Gay rights does step forward I can already imagine a crowd of Christians sighing; “Oh! I know what God meant.”
So, in the end the bible will always co-exist with these errors, logical conflicts and damn right stupid remarks.
Dearest Readers,
Let me introduce myself. I’m Moral Relativism, one of KC’s problem children referred to in the comment policy. Yes, it’s because of me that you are now required to register before commenting because I think I have a right to force everyone to listen to my opinions. I know, I know. I could get my own blog, but that would be the mature thing to do. I mean – KC’s made it clear I’m not wanted here and I’ve been banned twice already. Why o why do I persist? I guess I’m just that type of guy, eh?
But, don’t worry. KC is indeed a jackass and will be editing everything I post for as long I post on this blog. And being the type that thinks information should be shared, KC has decided you need my IP address & email just in case I decide to make myself your problem child also:
Email: e52stomni@yahoo.com
IP: 206.225.145.34
Of course, I’m going to change the IP as soon as I see this edit, but if anyone shows up on your blog – especially if you post anything I consider to be accepting of homosexuality – please contact KC with that form over to the right as KC just seems like the type that would share notes about problem children such as myself.
Oh, yes – my name is Bryan & up until a few minutes ago I had a blog that I set up for the sole purpose of posting my rants about that post KC put up about anti-homosexuality wingnuttery. But, KC spilled the electronic beans so I took it down. What a relief. What? Did you really expect me to defend myself on my own turf? How absurd. KC didn’t call me a problem child for naught.
I tried to make some more IDs, but KC is on the ball this fine day and deleted all three of them. Why does KC continue to do this to me? I can’t be a good brat under these conditions! It’s unfair! Completely! This isn’t my blog. I didn’t pay for this server! How dare KC!!!
Oh. Excuse me.
Where was I? Oh, yes.
KC now insists that I share my new email addresses with you dearest readers. How can I deny my most glorious master anything? I cannot I tell you as the master can edit my post whenever the mood strikes. So, please take these addresses and hold them as dear to your heart as I myself hold my master KC:
kchatesme@yahoo.com
kcbligbi@yahoo.com
Again, thank you most kindly for reading my missive.
Yours in wingnuttery,
Bryan (aka Moral Relativism)
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