- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans ™ always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
FYI: I do not hate gay people nor do I support any attempts to legally discriminate against them. In other words, this post is pure snark aimed at the idiocy of the bigots who think that “CIVILIZATION ITSELF!!!!!” will end if gay people are afforded the same rights and privileges we straight people enjoy.
To put it another way:
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oh dear. yes i think i will call you a fucking idiot, thanks. gay marriage changes society in a very negative and perverse way – how? why?! you are not giving any reasons or consequences. and think about your last line – “it really shouldn’t anger you that not all people will always agree with you” – absolutely, we all have our own opinions, but your right to disagree with gay marriage is not a right to defy or refuse it. mindlessly obeying a book written 2000 years ago on the other side of the planet does not give you default moral authority in the civilized West of the 21st Century.
Dude get over yourself and your religion
Why is it that Christians feel they are the moral conscience of society; I can’t for the life understand it. U dont need to be religous to have good morals.
“[...] we will lose our status as the greatest country in the world.”
As an American, nothing pisses me off (or embarasses me) more than some red, white, and blue pompous, ethnocentric idiot making this ridiculous claim. News flash, Rick. We’re probably not the greatest country, thanks in part to the arrogant attitudes of people like you and the moron you put in the White House. We could allow child molesters to marry 4-year old kids and do less damage to our global credibility than your people have accomplished. If Jesus really opposes gay marriage as much as you think He does, then He and the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus probably don’t need your help in expressing their collective will.
Hilarious !!… reminded me of some french author (Montesquieu) who used the same technique to make people realize how stupid our society had become (subject was on racism in his essay).
I’d love to take the time to comment, but the smell of anal lube here is getting to me.
Too funny.
The only reason I’d be against gay marriage is cuz I know straight ppl would take advantage of it to get health insurance and tax benefits. Damn straights.
Gay marriage? Bring it on! Us straight folk have to be subjected to marriage. Why the heck should gay people get a free pass??
That’s probably the most cleaver answer I’ve ever read.
How can this be a valid argument? Pointing out the hypocrisy is certainly fun and can bring some laughs. However, the real challenge is the moral relativism of western society. The normal has become abnormal, the abnormal is now normal. There is now right or wrong only tolerance and intolerance. Why put pedophiles in jail? Who is to say they are wrong? If both parties consent to the relationship, who are we to denounce and punish them? What about necrophilia, bestiality, and incest? When do we as a society draw the line between normal and abnormal behavior? Do we even have the right to decide what is normal behavior? They say that homosexuals do not choose the lifestyle rather it is a result of biology. What about the biology of a murderer? Physiatrists (the MD kind) have conclusively shown that the brain of a serial killer is different from a ‘normal’ brain. Are they to be set free then and given a ‘free pass’ since they did not choose their brain chemistry?
The point is the hypocrisy argument is a false argument. Any society which hopes to survive and thrive MUST establish and enforce social norms (i.e. right & wrong). Without it, the society is doomed to chaos and exploitation. No wonder the Muslim society looks at us and say we are all infidels and deserve death. With no moral compass we are nothing more and a chaotic selfish society.
Hmmm Quote the bible… against polygamy…better re-read your old testament, pilgrim…
In 2 Samuel 5:13; 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, 14:3, King David had six wives and numerous concubines.
In 1 Kings 11:3, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
In Deuteronomy 21:15 “If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons….”
If you believe in the whole enchilada… you can’t pick or choose one from column a, two from column b….Jesus said: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law (the Old Testament) or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law (the Old Testament) until everything is accomplished. (Matthew 5:17-18)”
Submitted by a non-gay, non-christian…who just doesn’t care what color, sex, or religion people are when they choose each other…I’ts about choices.
You’re wrong about “less ridicule” — only with more ridicule will these idiots recognize that they are wrong. Bigotry shrivels under the blinding light of comedy.
Exemplary idiocy. Amazing how wrong one can be, while using “reason” to make one’s case. You have clearly never read about the history of marriage — the real history, not the storybook given over by the opponents of equal protection. Your ignorance is showing, and it’s frightful. It is also unfortunately very widespread.
why focus on christians? all crazy evangelical religions or hardline conservative sects believe the same thing. or are strict muslims, hasidic jews, and confuscians suddeanly gay-friendly?
Wow — you are raving. Did you even stop to look at what you wrote? That is, did you notice how mnay splleing and grammmar misteaks yuo maid? Yikes! You must really have an amazing intellect, with just too many important thoughts swirling around in your head. You can’t type them down fast enough, huh? Maybe you are simply confused, and need to realign your “moral compass”.
“let gay people marry. let them be miserable as the rest of us.” – Carlos Mencia.
Oh — good one there “John”, you old queer-baiter you. You sure made a funny. Yuk yuk.
Funny thing is, many of us who support the rights of gays and lesbians to marry each other are straight. I just happen to think that all of the social, legal, and financial advantages afforded to my wife and I in our marriage should also be afforded to gay and lesbian couples who are in committed, long-term relationships.
It’s pretty simple. Even you, John, with your tiny little mind full of the smell of “anal lube” (what ever that is — do you get that at WalMart?) — even you should be able to understand this.
Ensuring equal protection for gay and lesbian couples doesn’t weaken our marriage — but it does strengthen America and our ever-evolving, ever-expanding notion of equality. It helps friends and neighbors, people who I know personally, people who deserve the same protections as straights have enjoyed for years. It is about equal protection.
If you can’t see this, then you, sir, are a small-minded bigot.
I love it. I am a praticing mormon with several wives. I am pretty sure that moving the gay marriage debate further will mean that polygamy will soon be legal too. I am tired of hiding and I want to be allowed to marry as many women as I want without fear of the government.
I found this funny. I also find funny the responses – which are anticipated in the actual thing, I guess – which make wild leaps of blind logic: e.g., because the piece seems to be suggesting that two mature, responsible adults should be granted some kind of social and legal recognition, it must be supporting all lifestyles grouped by the dominant Christian ideology in the same bundle!
Uh, because he’s replying to a specific comments about Christianity?
“Moral Relativism” – thanks for sharing your thoughts, I know you don’t have many.
The problem with an objective set of morals is deciding who sets them. Islam is the largest religion in the world, perhaps we should all be forced to live by their moral codes instead of our own? Maybe we should let white people decide what the objective moral code should be, or maybe only men, or maybe only gay men!
Second – the idea that the legal ramifications of marriage should somehow be tied up with morality and depending upon the government to define it is corrupt. It is not the government’s job to determine sanctity of marriage or the morality of an individuals life.
To those who oppose gay marriage – what about gay civil unions, giving them all the legal benefits without calling it marriage?
11. If gay marriages were legal, then why wouldn’t polygamy be legal too? After all, if it’s just about who ya love, then why can’t a person love multiple women (or men) at once, and get married to all of them?
P.s.: I am so sick of the phrase “gay marriage”. I say, call it “homogamy”. It has a nice, snobby ring to it.
I mean, what the hell is so gay about marriage anyway? Is one male marriage gonna do another male marriage in the butt? The only reason that phrase is even being used is because some dipshit in the media couldn’t come up with appropriate terminology to describe something his or her peebrain can’t understand or relate to, and because his or her boss (read: editor) couldn’t either, it stuck.
Bravo. I must admit, most people would actually think before typing but you, oh no you just typed away without any consideration for how little sense you make.
For brevity I will only bring to light a few of your less then educated points.
1. Using Britney’s “marriage” as the litmus test for how normal marriages are handled is laughable. While your at it why not use Elizabeth Taylor as your measuring stick.
2. Regarding Gays raising children, have a talk with Dawn Stefanowicz and tell me she had a normal upbringing. Don’t know who she is? In 2004 she testified at the Canadian Senate of Legal and Constitutional Affairs against “sexual orientation†being added to hate crime law.
3.I agree with your crazy behavior comment. That’s why the Canadian Govt is (trying) to put the age of concent back to 16 from 14. Guess who opposes this attempt? Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere. Now why would they do that? Hmmmm let me see?
4. But the one that had me laughing the most had to be the tall statement. Let me see if I have this correct. When some one comes out, they are considered strong and brave. Yet when someone goes the other way they are considered brain washed and worthless by the gay community. That means somewhere in the process a decision is made. Last time I checked Shak didn’t have any choice in the matter. But given that gays can go straight, it would appear that choice plays a huge roll.
Do everyone a favor, especially the gay community, don’t make anymore lists you only make things worse.
My God, I’m getting so many hits from my comment on this thread that I had to see what the fuss was about.
I’m finding it both hilarious and disturbing that:
1) People actually think that you wrote this and therefore have to get so sanctimonious in your comments, whatever their position. (Not that I’m saying that you can’t write something so dead-on and hilarious, but c’mon people.)
2) That some people still think that this is a serious list. Hi, humour and satire. Nice to see you.
the bible says “a man shall not be with a man†and “a woman shall not be with a womanâ€Â
did i make that easy enough for everybody to understand?
nobody is born gay…going to hell is your own choice.
Not everyone is religious, you idiot. This is a free country – not a theocracy. If you believe it is against your religion, don’t have a gay marriage. Don’t force other people to be subject to the bindings of YOUR personal religion.
Seriously — why do people like you seem to have their head so far up their ass that they can’t grasp the simplest concepts on which a free society is founded?
Christians are the salt and light of the world. Without us there is no true advocacy for moral restraint.
Wow. Could you be any more of an arogant prick? As a libertarian agnostic, I find that incredibly offensive. Considering the attrocities comitted in the name of Christianity, how can you suggest that the world would lack morality and restraint without you? And what about the other 66% of the world that is NOT Christian?
Seriously, are you one of those idiots who goes around saying “well, if you don’t believe in the baby jesus, why aren’t you out there raping and killing people?”. People like you, who scare the hell out of the rest of the rational thinkers because YOU seem to be often suggesting by your insinuations against “non believers” that the ONLY thing holding you back from being an immoral, unethical, violent, murdering rapist is that you’re afraid some magical being will flutter out of the clouds and punish you for it… Absolutely frightening that you think that way.
Heh… funny stuff.
The thing I don’t get about homosexual marriages are why they have the need to be publically recognised. I mean, isn’t it enough that it’s simply *legal* to be gay? Would it be all that much of a stretch for me to marry my dog and get a resulting tax break from it? Which brings me to my next topic, getting a gay marriage just for the tax benefits. Say you’re rooming with another guy… and you are both straight. Why not get a paper marriage for the tax benefits? I actually like this idea… and I would give serious thought to trying it. ABUSE THE SYSTEM!!!!!!1
You know why gay marriage will ruin society! Because 50 percent of all marriages end because of gayness.
You have been brain-washed by liberalism and moral relativism. Look at what happened to Rome? They lost their moral compass (homosexuality, beastality, incest, pedophelia) and the ‘barbarians’ swept in and took them down.
If you are only worried about legal rights, get a lawyer. You don’t need a legal union to exchange legal rights. There are these documents call LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT and POWER OF ATTORNEY which cover about 99.9% of the legal union agrument for gay marriage.
This is about making deviant behavior ‘normal’ not legal rights.
If highlighting my poor typing skills is the best rebutal to my argument, then thank you. go back to sleep
LOL!!
If this is ‘how it is’ no wonder our society is doomed!
The only reason that matters is that gay relationships do not qualify as marriage and the majority of those that are married refuse to have the institution redefined. If you silly homoactivists were really looking out for your own you would be advocating an equal “civil rights” situation rather than trying to force homosexuality down the throats (pun intended) of Americans that would really rather you existed without making so much damned noise about what separates you from the rest of us. Click my URI above to read a post I did not the subject yesterday.
unfortunately, you are probably right. After all, who really cares about inner-city murders? It all drug related and just blacks killing blacks. As long as it doesn’t hit the suburbs, Dick and Jane don’t care. I love the ‘not in my backyard’ argument.
Great rant! I agree with you, we are in big trouble when a christian is seen as a intolerant murdering pedophile while Gay lifestle is portrayed as normal american way of life for tolerant americans
Ya, after all, I love mine real young. Nothin wrong with that as far as I’m conerned to suck off!
LOL !
two words: victimless crime.
a child cannot consent.
no one is being taken advantage of when two consenting adults choose to love each other.
but when you demonize a group of people.. there are victims: the group that you are attacking.
by engaging in such self-righteous religious judgement, you are committing a moral crime.
therefore, my god decrees you are going to hell. i’m serious. enjoy burning for all eternity with all the other misguided and bigoted homophobes, racists, and suicide bombers. cheers.
How can a 14 year old black inner city child be charged as a adult for murder but not consent to sexual relations???????
I never used religion as a basis for my argument. Obviously you are very confused if you think morality is a religion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morality
Finally, loving another person of the same sex is NOT homosexuality of deviant behavior. sodomity is and until recenlty it was illegal in the USA.
people like you really depress me.
Nels hit the nail right on the head.
On the reals, though, this is mad funny… mad funny… unfortunately, it’s also thought-provoking. I say unfortunately because thinking makes my head hurt and because this should not even be a debate.
Comparing homosexuality to murder or beastiality is absurd, hateful and a strawman. We’re talking about people who love each other here, not people who kill other people. Get with it.
Further, homosexuality is not a “condition”, it’s something more… hard to say just what… I mean, how do we figure out the objective causes behind what attracts and comforts us? How do we define the objective causes of those things that makes us more or less sad or happy than other people?
Further, why don’t people look into the biological causes of hetero attraction? Because it’s not a political issue.
And who says homosexuality is “biological”? The jury’s still out on that one… Who’s to say that homosexuality or bisexuality is not “blown into” people by G*d, just like their souls?
Who’s to say there’s even such a thing as cut-and-dry homosexuality or heterosexuality and that these are not just fine lines drawn to make managing our lives easier?
As far as choice is concerned, homosexuality may not be a choice, but same-sex marriage is. It’s a choice to love and be dedicated to building the love between two people. It’s a choice to make the world a better place through creating a space dedicated to kindness and compassion between two people.
So here’s to choice. And getting all serious and rambling on a really funny thread (oops!)
Marriage is about procreation and building a family. The redefinition of marriage and family with the injection of abnormal behavior such as sodomy between same sex partners is absurd. Love has nothing to do with it either. I have same sex friends that I care for deeply and yes, I love them. But I do not perform sexual acts with them.
My argument is not a strawman. Abnormal behavior is just that. I point to beastality, pedophelia, incest, polgyamy as obvious abnormal behavior. Homosexuality is ABNORMAL.
Are you for real??
“Without us there is no true advocacy for moral restraint” is pure bullsh*t.
Moral restraint is not a christian-only thing. Pure arrogance in your statement.
wow. you really dont know what satire is – do you?
KC – How is my comment a personal attack? I taking a moral position, not attacking a person. Take a look at the other post on this blog and you will find lots of personal insults thrown around.. Why me? my comments not politically correct and therefore are deemed a insult?
Why is the intolerance of abnormal behavior considered hate and fear?
Not a personal attack? Being so pedantic about “normality”, and calling those who do not fit in those views of yours “abnormal”, sounds just like one.
(BTW this is a great list I have always loved, thanks for bringing it back to our attention.)
popagandhi -
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/abnormal
I didn’t see any mention of insult in the definintion.
OHH WAIT.. you mean it is a politically incorrect word that has been judged and insult by folks like you and your ‘enlightened’ moral compass which says anything is ok as long as you are consenting adults… Right?
One more personal attack upon homosexuals like the above and you will be banned. You will not come here and insult people in such a manner, is that understood?
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